Here’s a description of The Perfect Caller. This applies to traditional/contra callers, but some parts apply to square dance callers also. Some excerpts:

• never suffers from stage fright (improves with experience) or memory loss, never repeats bad jokes, has no irritating mannerisms and is never conceited or rude.
• explains everything briefly but clearly, can tell who has not understood and what they haven’t understood, and can explain again, in different words, as many times as necessary, without boring or patronizing the expert dancers. The Perfect Caller has a cribbook handy, just in case, but does not need to refer to it, and never reads it out word for word.
• can suggest that couples or partners swap around without making anyone feel inferior. Of course the Perfect Caller never has to stop the music and explain the dance again, but if a dance does “crash” the Perfect Caller stays calm and polite.
• improves its calling by learning from its mistakes (despite never making any), learning new dances, watching other callers and copying/avoiding what they do, and occasionally inviting criticism from friends.
• runs faster than a speeding train, clears buildings in a single bound, washes whiter than ordinary powders, contains no artificial flavorings or colorings …

So what do you think makes the perfect caller?

Heiner’s site contains some other interesting documents:

• Notes from a Don Armstrong Caller Seminar
• Dick Leger on caller schools
• Grand Square Workshop
• Notes on Phrase versus Beat